"Trust Me"

There's an email going around that talks about how people enter our lives for seasons. Some are here forever, but many are not. They come when needed and leave when no longer needed. Of course, this can bring some hurt, pain, disappointment, especially if the break or fade-away is not mutual. This is when God says, "trust me."

"Trust me." Simple concept. Difficult in practice. I wish I could say that I trust my savior completely during these lonely seasons.

Radio stations are already playing Christmas music. I love the songs that talk about children bringing what they feel are inadequate gifts to the manger only to find out that all He truly wants is ourselves. Our hearts in complete surrender. I found myself in meltdown the other night...so unusual for me (okay, those of you who know me, just keep quiet...!). I could so relate to the child in the song I had just heard. Feelings of complete inadequacy washed over me...in waves actually.

The tears are beginning again as I write this. What do I have to offer? My life is half over, and I wonder....my heavenly crown will be easy to give back to Jesus because it will be so light.

I want to rest in the palm of His hand, but I'm not even sure what that feels like. It seems like life is one struggle after another, and keeping my head above water is the best I can hope for. So many times I hear about how Jesus wants so much more for us...the abundant life, walking in victory because He has won not only the battle but the war for us. But how do I do that? I fall, I get back up, I begin the walk again...even start to run, only to miss that big stick stretched across my path and go flying face-first in the dirt once again.

I have touched lives, but not for the better. I want to talk...but to whom?

I have heard it said that when you are at the end of your rope...let go. That's when God catches you and carries you. What does that look like in the day-to-day life? I wish I knew....


Kelly said...

I see you have been taken by the blog addiction too!! Very cool!! I love connecting with people through their blogs. So much more personal!! Thanks for this post. Very vulnerable!! Have a great week!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Jodi -
Your crown will NOT be light - you have 2 children! :)
What does the Lord require of us?? Micah 6:8 and Deut. 10:12-22
I hope you have a better day today!