The RIGHT job...

There is something about looking for a full time job that can be quite humbling. It can wear on a person's confidence like nothing else, and unless you've actually been through it, it's hard to describe. I'm 42 years old...I've known a lot of people looking for a job. Some have found one quickly; some, not so much. But as sympathetic as I've felt, I've never felt empathy until the past couple of years. How little I truly understood! Although we've rarely been financially stable throughout our marriage, for different reasons, I've never been in the market for a full time job until about two and a half years ago. Then my journey began. Destination: full time employment. It's been a road full of twists and turns, and lots of hills and valleys, even a drop-off or two.

"Any job is better than none." How many of you have heard that or said it more than once? There is some truth to that...and that's how my subbing and other multiple part-time gigs have worked for us. But our family's schedule and needs had to be taken into careful consideration with each new extra job I took on, and with each job I applied for. I know there were some who believed that meant I was waiting for the right job to fall in my lap. Again, unless you've been thru it, it's hard to explain how taking any job doesn't always work, without sounding like you're giving a bunch of excuses.

A silent phone can lead to discouragement either quickly or eventually, and while it was a source of perseverance for me to know that a significant percentage of the people I know have been going through the same thing, there have still been moments/days when I've felt beaten down, worn out, and incredibly alone...especially lately.

Then came the phone call. A job offer...a better-than-I-ever-hoped-to-get type offer. Months after the interview. Better late than never, right? The last time I was this excited about a new job, I was inexplicably let go five weeks after being hired. So...I'm a bit gun-shy and almost afraid to get too excited. I'm waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me...again. But in order to stabilize myself on that figurative carpet, I'm on my knees...and that's not a bad thing. This offer can't be ignored, that's for sure! And as things move forward (background review - check; drug screen - check; offer letter signed - check; first day on the job - not yet; contract signed - not yet), I AM becoming more excited. My thoughts and emotions feel like they've been thrown into our clothes dryer. And I feel like I am holding my breath until I begin my first day.

I've got a new job. I've got a new job! I've got a NEW JOB! This job will not only give us some breathing room, but we might actually see more than three digits in our savings account statements. We won't have to panic with every bump in the road. We can count quarters instead of pennies. We can catch up on bills and begin to pay down debt. These are just a few things I look forward to...here are a few more.

I look forward to:

• the day "stocking the pantry shelves" means there's more food than empty space.
• getting regular oil changes in our car without having to figure out what we have to do without.
• when waiting to get our car repaired means waiting on the mechanic, not waiting for the next paycheck.
• going away for the weekend with my family without having to pack every meal. Shoot, I look forward to going away for a few weekends each year, period.
• giving my kids some spending money here and there without their having to spend their hard-earned paper route money.
• not postponing doctor appointments and buying medications because we can't afford the copay.
  
• when someone is sick or hurt, being able to focus on getting him/her better and not worried about what this is going to cost us.
  
• replacing most broken items within a few weeks rather than years or doing without.
• when making $5 gifts look like $20 gifts becomes a fun pastime rather than a continuous necessity.
• actually saving for a real vacation instead of dipping into the fund every time something "unexpected" comes up. (Although I've learned the only thing predictable for us is to expect the unpredictable!)
  
• doing some basic landscaping, especially planting replacement trees for the ones we lost to a blight a few years ago.
  
• PAYING IT FORWARD! This is probably what I look forward to the most. We have been so blessed with gifts from family and friends (many anonymously). We could fill pages with that list. I cannot wait to pass on some of those blessings!

In the midst of writing this, God has been helping me with my fears (and I have many...lots that I didn't even talk about here). First of all, He reminded me that a spirit of fear is NOT from Him. He also gave me the following verses from Psalm 112:

⁶ Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
they will be remembered forever.
⁷ They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
⁸ Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.
⁹ They have freely scattered their gifts to the poor,
their righteousness endures forever;
their horn will be lifted high in honor.

I pray that I never forget those months/years of searching--never.
I pray that I never take this gift for granted.
I pray that I have learned and understand well the value of a dollar.
I pray that I use this gift responsibly for His glory.
God does not call the equipped...He equips the called. Equip me, Lord, I need it!